How To Deal With Loneliness
As a modern young woman, it is possible to have a fabulous life, amazing career and a great group of friends but still feel very much alone with your thoughts at the end of the day. As young women, we all know this is a reality, but it often seems impossible to overcome. Here are a few ways to tackle that bout of loneliness without letting it consume you.
Remember that being alone is OK
We learn the most about ourselves when we’re sitting alone in a quiet room, because we’re forced to listen to our thoughts. It’s in those quiet moments that we hear what we’ve been ignoring during busier times. Listening to those thoughts is crucial because they teach us to be our own guide, our own confidant and our own shoulder to lean on when things get tough. If you can’t stand yourself when you’re alone, chances are you can’t stand yourself when you’re around other folks either, and you're more comfortable putting up a facade than your true thoughts and feelings. These moments alone, no matter how long or short, are vital to finding out who we truly are and what we truly want, so lean into the discomfort of being alone and you'll be a better woman for it.
Take the time
When you're feeling disconnected from the rest of the world, take that time to do those important things you're usually putting off until tomorrow. Call your mom, your dad and your best friend that you’ve texted that really funny picture to but haven’t heard her voice in weeks. No matter how busy or lonely you get, it's always comforting to make time for the people you love. Those conversations will bring you back to reality, letting you know you might be lonely, but you're not alone. It will remind you that there are people out there that are thinking about you and will always have your back, no matter what.
If you're single, mingle
Yes, I know people say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but so often it doesn't feel that way. When you start to get in the dumps of loneliness, take yourself on a “cutie run.” This is a term coined by the fabulous Demetria Lucas, the blogger behind A Belle in Brooklyn fame, and consists of going out to a nice bar or lounge or the grocery store or wherever other people are and talk to that cute guy you see. Use this time to step out of your comfort zone and meet new people. Pushing yourself to do something totally new can be refreshing and uplifting. You don’t have to fall in love with the guy you met in the frozen food section, but at least talk to him. Who knows where it will go.
Use your words
Loneliness, especially in young women, is prevalent and can sometimes lead to other psychological conditions such as anxiety and depression. Before you get to that step, talk to someone. That’s where calling your mama comes back into play. Your mom was once a young woman; she wasn’t born your mother, and chances are at some point in her life she felt the same way. If you don’t feel comfortable talking with family, talk with a close friend or a counselor. The more you open up about being lonely, the less alone you will feel, and you'll probably find that others are feeling the same way but were afraid to talk about it. And if talking just isn’t your thing or seems terrifying at first, start a journal and write it out. You'll be surprised what you can reveal to yourself when you write your thoughts down. It becomes real and tangible.
Whatever you decide to do, you have to get out of your own head and see the light at the end of the modern woman's tunnel.